Destiny may decide who comes into your life, but it certainly doesn’t decide who stays. People walk in and out of our lives every single day, some leaving more of a lasting impact than others. Some relationships we are simply forced to let go of, even though we may attempt to salvage what remains. Others fade naturally and may rekindle later on in life. And then, there’s just some people we force out simply because they just, well, suck.
We all have those people in our lives that we are just much better without. Our attempts at a real relationship with them become minimal as we grow up and realize we simply don’t enjoy their company. I’ve compiled a list of these types of people and attempted to categorize them into popular TV/movie personnel, so I apologize if you can’t appreciate the references. These are coming from a girl who develops emotional attachments to characters in the shows she binge watches on Netflix. I’m not sorry about it.
1. The Regina George (pre-bus accident)
Let’s face it. We’re all b*tches once in a while. But, the Regina George is a whole different level. The b*tch trait doesn’t just come out sometimes, the b*tch trait defines her. She doesn’t have to be the prettiest or most popular girl around. The Regina George is the chronic b*tch with cruel intentions. The one who gets sick enjoyment out of making other people’s lives miserable. People flock to her simply because they’re afraid of what will happen if they don’t. She’s the one who you may fear her wrath, but as soon as you let her go, you realize her wrath is only as bad as you let it be. Drama isn’t just her middle name; it’s her first and last name too.
2. The Chuck Bass (circa Seasons 1-2)
Any GG fanatic understands that Chuck and Blair are simply meant to be despite their rocky relationship throughout the series. We grow to love Mr. Bass, but his indecisivenes and failure to face his feelings drive us up a wall. He loves Blair, we all know he loves Blair, Blair knows he loves Blair, but the words simply can’t roll off of his tongue. Chuck Bass is like the indecisive ex-boyfriend who can’t choose a side. The one who tells you he loves you one day, then the next day decides he’s incapable of love. The Chuck Bass is the one to claim he “hates labels” while at the same time wine and dining you. He forces you to fall for him, but then can’t catch you when you actually do. We’re constantly drawn back to our Chuck Bass, because we know how he really feels, but he fails to follow through. He’s a heartbreaker that leads us down a path of disappointment and false hope. We hate to love our Chuck Bass, but we simply can’t help it. He’s destructively irresistible.
3. The John Tucker (pre-estrogen)
He spews lines that clearly fall under the Google search, “things to say to a girl to get her pants off.” He’s hot and he knows it. He’s the guy you meet at the bar who makes you feel like you’re the only one who’s caught his eye. The John Tucker clearly has experience with girls, and don’t be fooled, you’re not his first; and you’re certainly not his last. Odds are, you’re not the only girl on his mind either, despite your desperate attempts to convince yourself otherwise. Maybe he’ll hang out with you sober a few times, but it’s only to make he seem like the nice guy that he totally isn’t. He’s your typical douchebag. Keep him around for too long and you might develop feelings. Beware because, John Tucker doesn’t “do” feelings, he only “does” chicks that fall for his games. You being one of them.
4. The Squidward Tentacles
The Negative Nancy, the Debbie Downer, the Bummer Brian. The Squidward is a self-proclaimed, always-bringing-everybody-else-down, asshole. He/she places themselves on a pedestal simply to make up for their lack of self-confidence. Squidwards are content with monotony; always doing the same boring routine every day. Stepping outside of the small box they place themselves in is simply unheard of. They practically live by the phrase #NONEWFRIENDS and have no desire to explore beyond their comfort zones. Squidwards will only hold you back from being everything you want to be. Honestly, who wants to be friends with Squidward Tentacles?
5. The Jenny Humphrey (circa Seasons 2-3)
Jenny Humphrey. AKA the shitty friend who you can never convince yourself to truly hate because you know beneath all the bullsh*t, she’s a good person. Her downfall is that she doesn’t stay true to herself, and she adapts to the people she surrounds herself with. Jennys typically don’t have a backbone, and tend to follow rather than lead. They’re incapable of forming their own opinions, thus turning them into the person that you never expected. They’re easily influenced by what other people say, and fail to stick up for what is right. They have a good heart, but they don’t always use it. We can wish Jennys the best in their search for self discovery, but if you get too close, don’t be surprised if they let you down.
6. The Prince Eric (Little Mermaid)
Prince Eric=idiot. CLEARLY the woman who saved him was a hot red-headed mermaid but he seemed to have completely forgot her appearance completely and goes for the ugly brunette b*tch instead. He wasn’t able to look beyond Ariel’s physical disability and simply settled for the girl who was totally less hot.The dude that can only be explained with a whole bunch of question marks. He’s the guy that won’t kiss you when you’re giving off EVERY sign that you want to (including an ocean full of sea creatures singing “Kiss the Girl”) and will leave you to wonder what you’re doing wrong, even if you’re doing everything totally right. The Prince Eric is never mean or disrespectful, but he makes you question if your relationship will really go anywhere. He simply doesn’t realize what he has until it’s gone. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, he’s just an idiot. Hand the dude a dictionary and be on your way.
7. The Angelina Pivarnik (Jersey Shore season 1-The b*tch we all forgot about)
When she isn’t stirring up some type of drama, she’s trying to pick up the pieces of the mistakes she made when she was drunk. Going out with her is always a gamble. She classifies herself as the “life of the party,” but while she was trying to live up to her self-proclaimed title, it was your job to apologize for her actions along the way. Her life constantly seems to be in shambles, but it’s hard to feel sorry for her when you’ve heard the same bullsh*t over and over again. She thrives off of drama, much like the Regina George, but does it less eloquently. They play the victim and are often delusional, never feeling like they have to apologize for their drunken or sober wrong-doings. Angelina Pivarnik is a crazy b*tch with a false sense of entitlement, never paying any mind to the people she hurts along the way. Steer clear.
8. The Juan Pablo (circa- EVERY SINGLE DAMN EPISODE)
The Juan Pablos are your stereotypical, emotionless, douchers. They’ll think of every excuse in the world for why they can’t connect with you on a deeper level (past relationships, daddy problems, language barriers, etc.), but don’t waste your time with them. They’ll call you beautiful, kiss you on the forehead, and are seemingly charming, but you’ll never be able to scratch beyond the surface. You’ll drive yourself towards insanity if you attempt a relationship with a Juan, because, the phrase, “It’s OK,” will get old real quick, I promise.